I wished I was a man…but not anymore!

In the patriarchal society, a man always has that little more extra than a woman; more freedom, more rights, more authority, more strength, more of a career success, more money, and even more than one wife (if he chooses to). He also takes credit for everything: if he got married; what a gentlemen!
If he washes a dish; what a good husband! If he changes his baby’s diaper; what a great father… He seems to be the angelic person who’s not supposed to do anything, and every volunteering act is bombarded with praise and applause. He is also the virtuous creature who’s never in fault: he’s sexually harassing; her clothes are indecent! He is sleeping around; dirty girls! He raped; she brought this on herself! He cheated; she’s been careless! Can’t have children; she is sterile…

Men appear to have an easier life while women suffer continuously: menstruation, pregnancy, delivery, nursing, waxing, and housekeeping…They are also under a constant pressure: your whole body is a problem; you should cover it up! Don’t go out with boys! Don’t get back home late! You should know how to cook, how to clean and how to take care of a baby! You should listen and satisfy your husband’s needs, be obedient, be decent, be pure and be perfect! Do all the shitty tiresome hard work to keep everybody satisfied while looking elegant and appealing! You are weak, you don’t have the same rights, your success is limited, your intelligence is narrow, you are meant to endure and stay in the shadows! You are an inferior creature…

These are the messages I received when I welcomed my Teenagehood. A guy seemed to have all the advantages and opportunities of the world simply because he has a penis and I don’t. It’s like if the mere fact of being a male is an enormous accomplishment; he gets thus an unfair head start on everything in life. So I wished I was born a boy instead, I’ve spent a great deal of my life wondering why I was put in a girl’s body. I’m not a girl; I have the guy’s dreams and ambitions, I have their desires and inclinations; I too want to go out with whomever I want whenever I want, I too want to be lightly dressed when it’s hot, I too want to feel the wind on my skin and through my hair. I want to swim without having to put on my entire closet, I want to run, jump, walk, and laugh without being harassed. I too want that privilege and freedom. A guy can sleep around and it’s Ok while it’s a great shame and horror if a girl lost her virginity even if it was by rape. He can smoke, drink and party and it’s totally ok and acceptable, a girl on the other hand is preferred to be murdered rather than have this kind pleasures.

So yeah, I wished I was a man then life would be easier and simple for me. But as I grew older, I came up to a startling realization. Everyone is admiring the man just like a kid admires an adult and just like the world admires USA. The POWER: human beings admire the powerful ones and in the jungle, physical strength defines who the top of the chain is. Men are stronger basically because they have the role to provide and protect the family back in the wild, physical strength is therefore essential to do the hard work as hunting, cutting the woods, fighting the beasts… Women on the other hand are not physically strong but have a complete sophisticated body designed for reproduction. If women had a physical strength, that would’ve resulted in a huge imbalance; a woman won’t need a man anymore, thus there will be no family, just like the case of most animals where the male wander aimlessly, looking for a female in the mate season to fulfill its sole duty only to go back roaming randomly again.

I understood that we were genetically designed that way; (women with a reproductive system and men with physical strength) for the higher purpose to complement each other. However, time changes; we have now a certain level of security (provided by the police, the law…) that women don’t really need protection anymore. Likewise, to have a home, food, money… strength is no longer required. Men are losing gradually the purpose and meaning of their existence. Hence, a woman can now provide, protect, give birth and do all the shitty housekeeping just like a superhero while a man is either nagging or hypnotized in front of a TV.

Nevertheless, a woman is still physically weak; and as long as the law of the jungle is relevant, she will still have less in everything than a man would have. She will be judged for every mistake and blamed for every misfortune. So is this why I wanted to be a man? Is it to be physically powerful? To be acknowledge by society and treated with dignity and respect? To be granted the freedom and rights I deserve? If the society rewards the strongest as in the jungle, shouldn’t we assume that something is fucked up with the society not the physically weak individual? I mean we are not animals; that unique brain inside of our skull is meant for something right? Like acting judiciously and rationally for instance!

I’m not going to venture further into the fact that the cultural beliefs are taking shelter under the religion carapace, which makes them hard to break or even to budge. Putting this aside, I was wondering if a woman is really weak! A body that gives birth and goes through so many changes and pain. A body that in itself a miracle with its resilience and its power to create a complete human being inside. Could it be considered inferior? If the power is articulated as a brutal strength in men, it is incarnated in the great capacity to give life and nourish it in women.

They say women have the default of being too emotional; but isn’t it a strength in itself instead? Aren’t we all seeking an emotional outcome from everything we do (happiness, love, excitement…or even orgasms) what if women can experience this in a deep level and therefore experiencing life in a more thrilling way, isn’t it a gift? A woman’s body has nothing inferior to man; actually it can never be, plainly because they are two different things created to complete one another.

I didn’t hate being a woman; I hated the perception of the society on women, as I didn’t want to be a man as much as I craved the privilege and the authority granted to him. When I realized that how society defines my gender has nothing to do with religion and it’s only a patriarchal thing, then all chains were broken. The simple fact of changing a person’s perception on herself can fuel her with incredible power and determination. You can either wait for people to acknowledge you, respect you, defend you, encourage you and entitle you, then you’ll never be happy no matter what. Or you can embrace and love who you are including your body, your gender, your thoughts… and be responsible and in control over your actions and choices. Then a better life awaits.

           I don’t want to be a man anymore because simply I am a WOMAN. I don’t need to be a man to decide the course of my life. What I can be, do, have and accomplish is entirely dependent on my willingness to trespass on my own false beliefs and defective values, and take actions in order to create the life I genuinely desire. Malala Yousafzai didn’t wait for Taliban to give her the right of education, neither did she give up and lament her unfortunate fate of being a woman; instead, she gave herself the power even in front of an inevitable death. People will judge, manipulate and have authority over you only if you give them the right to. You are in charge of your own life regardless your gender; you already have the power and privilege as a human being.