A mother and still a gamer! How come?!

I've played video games for as long as I can remember. With two older brothers, I grew up watching them fighting over whose turn to play and who damaged the controller’s buttons or accidentally tore its wire. I forged my way to have a share in playing every once in a while with games like Super Mario bros or Duck hunt, but these were a sheer deserts comparing to the intriguing universe I discovered once we bought the PS1 in 2001.

It was a very expensive piece of technology: 1800 Dhs, and I remember the day we brought it home, everyone in the house including the adults, were hovering around the TV while my big brother unpacked and wired the curious device. The first game, which CD was completely black and extravagantly wrapped, was Tekken 2, a fighting game. Everyone was stunned by the detailed graphics and had the honor to explore it by playing a round or two; I was defeated within the first 30 seconds and intimidatingly handed back the heavy white-grey controller. Watching the agitated play and hearing the screams and curses that had been uttered in the face of challenging enemies were amply sufficient for my little heart to get submerged by pure joy and excitement.

I discovered and developed hence a new passion for games, strengthened by watching my big brother playing complicated and adventurous ones that required focus and courage. I remember sitting there on the sofa while he preferred settling on the carpeted floor, I followed closely with glowing eyes fixed on the small TV screen every move he made, every puzzle he solved, every big boss he struggled to beat, and every storyline he victoriously completed. At every time, I was magically transported to a very exciting yet challenging universe, with a fearless badass main character, a fantastically sophisticated story, and widely limitless challenges.

Till the age of 11, I was but a mere spectator burning with thrill, and impatiently waiting to personally experience and relish the beauty of playing. With my both elder brothers leaving the house for their college years, I became the rightful heir to the throne of games. And at 13 years old, I already succeeded to flawlessly finish two PS1 survival horrors: Alone in the dark, and Resident Evil 3.  

Games weren’t only an escape on the big holidays to a captivating and daring world, it was also a way to learn a new culture, improve my language skills, and even create a spectacle for my family to enjoy from time to time, as I became the one sitting on the floor playing and everybody else keenly watching. Moreover, games were a perfect entertainment during the family gathering; we often challenge each other in Tekken dual, and the confrontations were taken very seriously; the rule was simple: you lose, you hand the controller over, the winner will keep playing until defeated and so on. And like always, curses were thrown, tempers were lost, pride were showed off, and most of all, plenty of laughter and yells were heard.

Video games were therefore more than a personal hobbit; they were for quite a time a family thing; my Mom bought me consoles and all games I wanted without ever questioning why a girl is so interested in gaming, my father watched me playing and was always wondering how they managed to create such a complicated mechanism, my sister enjoyed being my co-player even though she always ran lost at times I needed her the most, my brothers were constantly amazed by the quick graphics improvements, and even my grandma loved watching me playing Haunting Ground and was worried sick about the faithful brave dog Hewie.

I realized over the time that games have played a key role in my life; my excitement for discovering and finishing a new game was untamed, I just love it; the characters, the environment design, the fluidity of the play, the awesome weapons, the storyline, and the challenging enemies, I’m just obsessed with it. My best friend is a gamer, and all our stay overs were games based. Also my husband is a geek and our best moments are mainly about watching him getting scared to death while playing a survival horror game (So damn funny x)).

From PS1, to PS2, to Xbox 360, and now PS4, and as my life progressed from a little girl to a wife and now a mother, I wondered if my passion for video games will ever fade away. I feared the moment when I’ll decide to say:  “Ok, no more messing around, no more wasting time, I’m a grown up now, time to be responsible, video games no more!” Even though life would become dull and colorless, it feels like the right thing to do. It will come time for me to move on to seemingly a more responsible and mature stage of my life. And such a transition is extremely frightening. However is it really necessary?!

The truth is, I went through similar wisdom state a couple of times before: one was when I turned 19 y.o, I thought I was no longer a careless adolescent and that it was time to grow up, that was right before I bought Xbox 360 and start new adventures in that mesmerizing advanced universe. The second time wasn’t when I got my first job, nor was it when I got married, and even less when I had my first baby, but nearly a year after, when I realized that my child was growing up quickly, and felt kind of uncomfortable playing while a mother, I thought that was it: ‘time to stop’, and again it was right before I start playing Days Gone and fell in love with the thrilling game. I realized then that it wasn’t a matter of growing up or being more responsible, but merely a terrible shortage of good new games!

Today, as to the family, we are no longer a bunch of students, and single adults. Each one of us has now a family of his own. When we are together, conversations are mainly centered on children, school, work, and similar problems. We are no longer allowed to chill and relax, fight over the controller, and enjoy the excitements of the game. Our family reunions ceased thence to be fun and heartwarming.

Away from the nostalgia of the golden old days, I’m definitely persuaded that gaming isn’t necessary an immature and reckless thing. Actually abusing in anything is considered to be irresponsible, like spending hours on social Medias, in front of the TV, sleeping… and that includes gaming too. Although sometimes, you just can’t help yourself but to surrender to the temptation of relishing the excellent form of originality and creativity.

To create a game, a large group of brilliant people cooperate for the project, and it can take several years to achieve it. Different types and levels of art, skills, and talent are involved; writers, designers, engineers, artists, programmers, composers… just to name a few. So when I play the game, it’s not only about finishing it and having excitingly challenging moments, but far more than that. It’s about the appreciation of the good story (Last of us), the charm and complexity of the characters (The Witcher), the beauty of the environment (Uncharted), the heavy load of cultural and historical information (Assassin’s Creed), the need for patience and strategy (Hitman), the fantastically outrageous worlds (Devil May Cry), the enchanting soundtracks (Days Gone), and the pure taste of horror and action (Resident Evil).

It’s all about a compelling piece of art that it’s utterly senseless not to be attracted to it!