Canada: Finally Freedom

When I first was considering coming here to Canada, I wasn’t thinking about how this immigration could improve the quality of life as most people kept repeating. I actually didn’t know what it means to have a better quality of life or even imagine what it looks like. That is simply because I thought I was just fine in Morocco; I had a nice job in a nice company, we didn’t have a fancy car or a house but we surely knew how to enjoy all the little beauties of life and what my home country had to offer. I worked hard on myself and freed my mind and spirit from those suffocating chains, but still there was that part of me lingering inside, aching for an extra more. That extra more that I wasn’t sure how it looks and how it feels.

I didn’t come here to Canada for a better quality of life, I came here for freedom!

I was most of the time looking like an alien in my environment, especially when I decided to defy the odds and show my real self, express openly my opinion, and live according to my beliefs. But that muffled bullying, occasional harassment, that uneasiness when I’m out by myself, prompt me to seek refuge in another country far away of mine, even though I wasn’t sure what could this place possibly offer me.

How does it feel like to be free and finally a normal existence?

People usually adapt, even in unfair circumstance, and that is a blessing. In Morrocco it became a habit for me to go out and be extremely alerted all the time. A man can pass by and throw undesirable and disgusting words close to my ear, others stare disrespectfully checking me out giving me the feeling walking naked in a whistling crowd. Staying late after night fall alone is a suicide mission in less busy areas. My face when I’m out should always look stern, unfriendly and ready to fight back. Otherwise, the likelihood of being harassed will dramatically increase. My existence as a woman wearing casual was often perceived abnormal in some places, like an interesting object everyone is eager to examine and explore.  I grew up used to this feeling ever since my adolescence.

It was hard to imagine life differently.

I though I won’t be surprised to be able to wear whatever I want, run, laugh and play as I pleased, go out alone and stargaze laying on the grass without being bothered, be normal, be invisible!

Oh dear, how this is surreal!

I thought my eyes won't water when I’ll be enjoying riding my bike, wearing shorts when its hot, laying down on the picnic blanket playing with my kid unannoyed, taking a walk with a big smile on my face, breathing deeply and calmly and looking up, the sunshine piercing through the green brunches and warming my relaxed features, knowing if I stretch my gaze ahead, there will only be people minding their own business, if not friendly smiling back at you. That taste of easiness and freedom is priceless!  I didn’t know it was that sweet!!

The empowerment that I’ve got since I have put my feet on this land is immense. As a mother, I always felt like the secondary parent to my own child; I couldn’t get him most of his papers or anything related to him in Morocco by my own. His father must always be present, and if I’m not present, it doesn’t matter, “She is just the mother”, and that drove me sometimes crazy. Here, I am the primary caregiver, I am trusted to take the responsibility and make the right choice regarding my child. When I’m with my husband I’m addressed and got involved as equally as him. I’m given more rights, more power.

I finally feel like a human being.

Freedom and empowerment are not the only things that overwhelmed me. Now I can see what does it mean to have a better quality of life.

Beauty everywhere; beautiful houses without tall walls and fences, meticulously cultivated and planted gardens, blooming flowers, manicured lawn and colourful trees. Breathing great quality of air, having access to parks, sport areas like basketball, tennis, volleyball… go hiking, camping, explore rich museums, enjoy diverse festivals and activities, having free access to local libraries with books and games, Oh God! Stop worrying about any administrative procedures or the quality of your kid’s education, getting deliveries to your doorsteps… and the list goes on. That feels damn good! I mean terrific.

I just love this place! It has its challenge, but now at least you struggle and get rewards that makes you forget about every day’s hustle. At least you can focus your energy on what really matters and forget about unnecessary suffering.